It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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