I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
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Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
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I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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