saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
