did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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