At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Randomize