The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
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