the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
