Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
