with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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