I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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