I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
