i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
