69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
