He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize
