I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
