dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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