How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
