So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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