I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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