North Korea, Best Korea!
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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