My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
