Do you still have your period?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
