I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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