then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
