Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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