i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
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