his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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