I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
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