You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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