sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
