I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
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