so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
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