Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss vodka workout Fridays
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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