If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
