Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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