This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
