He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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