So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
