The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Randomize
