:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
