Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
