Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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