i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize