My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
