video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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