You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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