When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize