For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
