Christians are straight up FREAKS
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
