you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize