first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
