Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
