Texts From Last Night

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  (616): View more from Michigan

  If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.

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  (616): If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet. http://tfl.nu/k138
  Replies (12) Good night (1014) Bad night (2238)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.

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  (602): dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese. http://tfl.nu/mk7p
  Replies (30) Good night (4470) Bad night (1165)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.

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  (304): Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit. http://tfl.nu/67fb
  Replies (20) Good night (4366) Bad night (1222)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.

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  (502): You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down. http://tfl.nu/88lm
  Replies (4) Good night (1105) Bad night (2268)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs

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  (301): not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs http://tfl.nu/cui3
  Replies (6) Good night (2666) Bad night (1176)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  My mouth holds just enough water for my bong

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  (410): My mouth holds just enough water for my bong http://tfl.nu/u9dn
  Replies (7) Good night (2185) Bad night (1091)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally

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  (203): i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes (203): i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally http://tfl.nu/ln5z
  Replies (3) Good night (841) Bad night (907)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.

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  (503): He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success. http://tfl.nu/fztg
  Replies (8) Good night (1171) Bad night (579)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  That would make regret #10

  (646): View more from New York

  He was more like the original regret

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  (917): That would make regret #10 (646): He was more like the original regret http://tfl.nu/dmkl
  Replies (5) Good night (711) Bad night (584)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina

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  (817): Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina http://tfl.nu/3njj
  Replies (5) Good night (455) Bad night (775)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?

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  (614): Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"? http://tfl.nu/ki2a
  Replies (11) Good night (987) Bad night (529)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.

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  (330): Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes. http://tfl.nu/oodj
  Replies (3) Good night (610) Bad night (312)
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  (862): View more from New Jersey

  This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.

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  (862): This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom. http://tfl.nu/h7oi
  Replies (1) Good night (362) Bad night (524)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Did you run away?

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I DANCED AWAY.

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  (615): I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat (615): And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing (203): Did you run away? (615): I DANCED AWAY. http://tfl.nu/ipjx
  Replies (2) Good night (993) Bad night (473)
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  (340): View more from US Virgin Islands

  Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!

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  (340): Your boobs stole my birthday thunder! http://tfl.nu/gudh
  Replies (1) Good night (306) Bad night (313)

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