im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
