That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize