She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.