Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete

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(717): just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete http://tfl.nu/yzxp

Replies (28) Good night (4708) Bad night (1962)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was

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(203): I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was http://tfl.nu/myop

Replies (17) Good night (1232) Bad night (4586)
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(406): View more from Montana

As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.

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(406): As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network. http://tfl.nu/cww0

Replies (19) Good night (5465) Bad night (999)
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(519): View more from Ontario

I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.

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(519): I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front. http://tfl.nu/mrrz

Replies (12) Good night (4635) Bad night (1614)
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(630): View more from Illinois

you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing

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(630): you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing http://tfl.nu/mpy9

Replies (6) Good night (2972) Bad night (859)
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(816): View more from Missouri

I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring

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(816): I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring http://tfl.nu/n1of

Replies (2) Good night (2136) Bad night (699)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted

(1-615): View more from Tennessee

it is a toga and you are a goddess.

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(615): In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted (1-615): it is a toga and you are a goddess. http://tfl.nu/2t04

Replies (15) Good night (4937) Bad night (872)
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(507): View more from Minnesota

We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.

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(507): We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do. http://tfl.nu/66ti

Replies (4) Good night (1331) Bad night (576)
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(740): View more from Ohio

Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.

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(740): Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to. http://tfl.nu/nnoc

Replies (20) Good night (3715) Bad night (678)
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(+61): View more from Australia

I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.

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(+61): I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that. http://tfl.nu/nlmq

Replies (2) Good night (358) Bad night (909)
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(518): View more from New York

Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.

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(518): Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered. http://tfl.nu/cv8i

Replies (3) Good night (477) Bad night (716)
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(540): View more from Virginia

These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.

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(540): These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love. http://tfl.nu/3io8

Replies (1) Good night (544) Bad night (257)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter

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(402): Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter http://tfl.nu/7i88

Replies (1) Good night (668) Bad night (364)
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(702): View more from Nevada

HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!

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(702): HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!! http://tfl.nu/b1io

Replies (3) Good night (892) Bad night (356)
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(760): View more from California

Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.

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(760): Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick. http://tfl.nu/b7j5

Replies (1) Good night (743) Bad night (221)

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