I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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