That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize