Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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