turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
