No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
