you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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