also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
