Buhtt sex?
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
