I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
