Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
