that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
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Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
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Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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