I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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