i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
