you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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