Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
It's Friday. Sex?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
