I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
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We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
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Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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