I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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